The Mature Provider

Happily for women seeking a male partner (or client base), men love us in all shapes and sizes, so regardless of looks, there’s usually someone for everyone; but what about age? If we were to believe commonly held wisdom, women are apparently most desirable during their childbearing years of 17 to about 40. Fertility declines from 36 onwards, and therefore it follows that as women age past this, they become…less desirable.

Yet when we turn our gaze to the sex industry, 40 years + providers are in high demand. The term MILF was coined back in the 90’s as an abbreviation of a ‘mum I’d love to f*ck’, when older women started being viewed in a much more desirable way than they were in earlier decades. Why? Because people (men) finally acknowledged that women are often FAR sexier and attractive in their 30’s, 40’s and beyond, than in their teens or 20’s. But how so?

Well no matter how physically blessed you are with looks, no teenager or woman in her twenties is ever truly satisfied or confident of her own allure. And self confidence is a BIG turn on universally! In our teens or early 20’s, we’re often still finding our way in terms of styling and presenting ourselves in a way that really suits our figure, colouring or features. It’s an awkward time, as we follow fashion without realising certain colours, shapes or styles will NEVER do us any favours. We stride out, thrilled with our fashion bargains, but often looking gauche and awkward, never showing off our best assets as we should. Many women don’t even know what their best features or assets are until their 30’s.

By 30 we’re more sexually experienced and confident as individuals. Even if we no longer have the figure we had at 21, we’re much better at dressing, doing our makeup and knowing how to showcase our strengths and hide our flaws. This inner confidence is a huge boost to our desirability and simply put, men of all ages cannot get enough! Given the choice of a beautiful perky 21 year old with no imagination in bed; or a 40 something woman with expert moves who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to show it – the latter wins hands down. Desire is an aphrodisiac in itself. To feel desired and wanted is all most of us crave, and older women can show their desire whilst younger women are often still inhibited. Most go through the motions of what they think they should do, based on porn, whilst an older woman just does what she really wants. Our biggest sex organs are our brains. And mature ladies know how to use them to best effect. Coupled with that, there are practical benefits to an older provider who is never hampered by PMT or ‘not feeling like it’ for one week every month. Periods are NOT something l will ever miss, and I love that my sex life is no longer hindered by them!

I believe that men who prefer teens and young women sexually are usually the most inept or unskilled themselves. Even teenage boys know that sex is usually much better with someone older, so older men who target teens or very young women are often either chauvinists or misogynists who objectify women and don’t value their intelligence or maturity. They have no interest in pleasuring partners and only wish to satisfy themselves. Naïve youngsters are easier to manipulate, and by only going with inexperienced girls, these men stand a lower chance of being unfavourably compared with anyone better in bed and a higher chance of taking control. Of course younger women may look prettier, but most of us are sapiosexual to some degree; and we want to connect on some emotional or intellectual level with sex partners, no matter how temporary the encounter.

Enter the mature woman! The Cougar, MILF or whatever you wish to call her…The over 40’s woman has had enough sexual experience in life to know exactly what she does or doesn’t like in bed. She knows what works for her, and what tends to work for most men in her experience. She not only uses lingerie artfully to flatter her figure to best effect; but she deploys her skills and insight in the bedroom, to create an experience that satisfies both her, and her partner. There is nothing more empowering than feeling desired and knowing your partner is fully aroused.

If you’re reading this as a woman in your 40’s, 50’s or 60’s who could really do with more income but you’ve dismissed the notion of sex work because you assume you are too old, think again! There will ALWAYS be men who much prefer a mature or older woman. Men of all ages. Not only that, but as there are fewer sex workers over 40, there is less competition so your client base is all the keener and more grateful to find you! YOU the Provider will be the one to have your pick of clients rather than the other way around. Men paying for young companions literally have hundreds of gorgeous ladies to choose from. 

Speaking as a mature paid companion myself (I began at 42), l can honestly say it is a position of great privilege and joy for me . I’ve ALWAYS been the oldest at every single duo or group booking I have done – sometimes being 18-20 years older than another provider – yet never have l once felt in competition with the younger ladies, nor in any way diminished or worth less than them. Quite the opposite in fact – l feel validated and sought after for my intelligence and personality which is a HUGE ego boost and comfort to me, and that alone really does make for more enjoyable dates and experiences.

The mature woman entering the industry with her eyes open has a different skill set, and tends not to suffer bad clients, or even attract them. She’s a better communicator, more switched on and less likely to brook any nonsense. I certainly never attract dodgy types, because I’m far too knowledgeable and assertive to be manipulated. We won’t suffer fools gladly in any job after 40 anyway, so why would we in this business?

As it is, I never do ANYthing l don’t want – not for any money – which I appreciate is a position of privilege. l will walk away from any date that feels wrong because l can trust my instincts in a way younger women maybe haven’t the confidence to do yet. Lots of men LOVE a strong feisty woman, and they make the best clients. A mature Companion is cherished for being herself, and that can never be understated.

So would l change places with a gorgeous 25yr old Courtesan at the top of her game? Not a chance! I actually pity some of my beautiful colleagues who deal with a lot of drama l never get. Even if they’re earning a fortune, it’s money hard earned. Younger ladies probably work much harder than me and have tons of competition, whilst managing the some quite difficult clients. By that l mean men who haggle, ask for lists of ‘services’ or feel entitled. Entitled to the ‘porn star experience’, entitled to discounts, entitled to your personal identity or attention. Some can become obsessive, manipulative, violent or intrusive. 

I get NONE of that rubbish! My clients are mature, intelligent, considerate men who play by the rules and are often more feminist in their views; even the young ones. And yes, us mature ladies DO get younger ones! (young, fit and sexy!) Another perk of the job. The type of young man who seeks out older courtesans is often way nicer, more interesting and intelligent than the typical horny oaf looking to get laid on a night out.

It’s all really rather good from my perspective, and whilst lots of younger companions often view escorting as a temporary stepping stone to better things; this IS my Better Thing! I’m living my best life and have no desire to stop as it’s so enjoyable. l truly ADORE my favourite clients! I’m not saying younger providers get all the dross; of course they meet wonderful clients too. But they do undoubtedly deal with a higher proportion of men who don’t really respect women and view us as an expendable commodity to use and discard at will. Men who think there’s nothing companions won’t do for the right money. They’re wrong of course….

If you’re happy to go down the BDSM route, then being older is most DEFINITELY advantageous, as it’s hard to view any Dominatrix with any authority if she appears too young. Authority, wisdom, experience and fierceness are much easier to convey after 45. I actually know of one highly successful Domme who lies about her age to appear older – who knew?? lt makes a huge difference to what you can charge and earn.

So don’t be deterred if your weight, face or figure shows your age – trust me, our lovely clients really don’t care! They’re paying for an experience and interested in more than that. Lots prefer the fuller figure anyway. Many prefer natural to fillers and implants. They’re booking you for your experience, personality and the way you make them feel over your looks. Younger ladies may have the perky bosoms and flat tummies, but they can’t genuinely show real interest in 40-70 year olds, whereas we have more in common and can communicate with authentic warmth. Most men are just lonely and want to share time and intimacy with someone they feel comfortable with. For many clients, that’s more likely to be a mature lady than a young stunner with very little in common to talk about.

So again, I would urge any woman out there who has considered, but dismissed the idea of sex work, because you assumed you’re too old;- you are most certainly NOT. You just need to be sexually open minded, healthy and proactive enough to promote and market yourself appropriately. Then you just need to be ready and mobile to attend your screened Outcall or Incall bookings.The Indie Collective can help and support your endeavours with our free online blogs full of advice and guidance. You can even have a chat with one of us if you still have questions, so don’t hesitate to ask us anything.There’s a wonderful Life to be had, and a great income to be made for anyone with the right mentality and outlook. As a mature woman, l can honestly say l was born to this and love being my age.

Vive la Cougar!